"Alas, hunting for the continuous witch"

Funniest English/French/English translation ever:

The American [Lance Armstrong] did not change a iota his speech, repeating with the envi his innonence. "Once again, a European newspaper reports that I was controlled positive with drugs supporting the performance. Alas, hunting for the continuous witch and the article of tomorrow (this Tuesday) are nothing other than journalism with scandal.

[snip]

After its victorious fight against a cancer of the testicles and its return in the group, Lance Armstrong always defended nozzle and nails [would they mean "fought tooth and nails"?] used unspecified produced doping in spite of suspicions. With only one recovery, the American champion had been controlled positive, at the time of the turn 1999, but had been bleached after its the US team Postal one had produced a medical certificate showing that it had used a pomade to look after a pain with the saddle [a pain with the saddle?!?] containing a prohibited corticoid.

Read the whole thing. It's a hoot.

Oh, and as to whether the charges are true? I have no idea. But this article (via Drudge) sure makes it all clear as mud.